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In Love and in War


In Love and in War

Verdun, 1942


The sun was going down and as Adele sat by the window in the living room it was becoming blinding to the point where she had to adjust her position to avoid the glare. She was reading a book, trying to focus her attention on the words on the page but the words in her head were too distracting.

“Hello?” asked a voice from the direction of the kitchen, near the back of the house. It was a faint voice that startled her slightly as she put down her book. “Adele? Are you home?”

She got up from the chair and walked towards the kitchen and saw Sarah standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Did he come yet?”
“Not yet”, Adele said, going towards her to give her a hug. “Thank you for coming.”
“I’m sorry I could not get here sooner but Francois is not well and I wanted to stay until he fell to sleep.”

Sarah was Adele’s cousin who lived in the vicinity of the village, as did she.

“When are you expecting him?”
“I don’t know. They would not tell me anything.”

Adele handed her the telegram that informed her of the arrival of the German officer who would be staying at the farmhouse for the foreseeable future. Sarah looked up to see concern on her face.

“What will you do?”
“What can I do?”
“Surely he cannot stay in the same house as you. You’re all alone.”
“That’s not official. The German this morning who delivered the telegram stated that a Mr. and Mrs. Benoit live at this residence and so they assume –“
“You mean you did not tell them that Thomas is not here?” Sarah asked, concerned.
“What’s the point? The Germans do what they want to do and we have no say.”
“This is terrible…you all alone with some stranger like this is not right.”
“I’ll be fine.”

Sarah put the telegram down and squeezed Adele’s hand.

“Why don’t you come stay with me?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Have you heard from Thomas?” Sarah asked.
“Not for a while.”

Sarah got up and brought the jug of water to the table. She poured Adele some and took some for herself. She knew better than to ask questions about Adele’s husband. He had been gone for some time, several months in fact, just before the invasion. He felt it was his duty to be elsewhere, fighting for his country.

“How bad can he be?”
“He’s a German; they’re all devils as far as I’m concerned”, was all Sarah said.

They did not have to wait too much longer to discover who Adele’s guest was as just after the setting of the sun he arrived with his entourage. When the sound of the cars pulled up outside the house, Sarah stood up and went to one of the windows in the living room.

Adele, on the other hand, remained where she was in the kitchen. They had just finished a glass of sherry each and were speaking, almost forgetting about the intrusion of the evening, when the cars arrived. She got up and cleared away the glasses when she heard the front door open and the German voices inside her house. The sound made her angry.

Sarah stepped back in at this time.

“I could not tell which he was. They all look horrible”, Sarah said, walking towards her.
“I would stay longer but it’s impossible with Francoise so unwell”, she added apologetically.
 “It’s fine.”
“I’ll be around first thing tomorrow”, Sarah told her as she grabbed her shawl, wrapping it around her shoulders. “I think it will rain soon.”
“Get home before it does”, Adele told her and the two women kissed on the cheek before she left.

Adele sat back down in the kitchen and decided not to go in the other part of the house while they were moving things upstairs. They were not as long as she thought they would be and so when all was quiet, she went back inside the living room to get her book. She did not hear the footsteps of the man enter the living room but she had an odd sense that someone was there.

“Good evening”, the voice spoke in French but with a German accent. They all spoke French, even if it was slightly broken. His was better than the others she had heard, likely due to his rank. She knew who it was and did not need to turn around, so she didn’t.
“I wanted to introduce myself. I am Captain Werner von Ebrennac.”

After standing for several moments to her back to him, she decided it was best to turn around and face the enemy. She did not know what to expect but did not expect what she saw: a young man in his mid-30s. She had perhaps expected someone much older. He immediately removed his hat and bowed slightly.

She gave him a disinterested stare.

“I will leave early and usually be back late. I will arrange my own meals and try to cause as little disturbance as possible to your routine.”

He paused and looked at her. She returned the stare but did not speak. She saw as he motioned towards the window that was behind her.

“It looks like I got in just in time.” She turned to see that the rain had started quite heavily. She had not noticed.

“Rain is good weather for sleeping”, he said, and then giving her another polite bow, he said “good night.”

When he left she turned back to the window to look at the rain outside. She heard his footsteps up on the second floor and heard the door close. She had chosen for him the room at the end of the house in hopes that they would not have to see one another. It was a large house with two working bathrooms upstairs, one of which was an ensuite in her bedroom. She intended to have as little contact with this man as possible and was relieved when she heard him say that he would not be around.

When she sat down she closed her eyes temporarily, listening to the silence of the house and the sound of the rain. She realized how alone she was and felt a sense of anger and resentment rise in her. She had not thought about Thomas for some time but tonight she was. She felt a hardness rise in her as she thought of her husband and the way in which she felt trapped in this house with a strange man. She knew he did not love her; he could not.



The days passed quietly enough and Adele lived her life as normal. She rarely saw the German officer and only heard him in the late evenings when he returned or was getting ready for bed. He was a quiet intrusion into her otherwise quiet life.

Her evenings consisted of reading and piano, but she started her piano practices much earlier now that the German had arrived in the house. She had some pupils come to her a few times a week, while others she would visit in their homes. It was something she loved to do as a side job, more so out of love than financial necessity. It helped her to escape the prison that she felt in, especially now.

She loved many composers but Bach she loved most of all. However, she refrained from teaching any of the German composers to her pupils as it would be seen as highly inappropriate; unpatriotic even. Therefore, it was usually during the evenings that she would play, when the world outside was quiet and so too the world within the walls of her home. Somehow, though, playing made her feel like she was not alone; playing made her feel alive.

It was on an October evening, before the sun set, that Adele decided she would play. She was careful not to play while the German officer was in the house as she didn’t feel right doing so while he was there. So far their interactions had been few and far between and she was relived for that. However, on this particular evening as she played she did not hear his approach into the sitting room where the piano was. Having the habit sometimes of playing with her eyes closed, she did not see him as he stood in the doorway listening. When she opened her eyes, she was startled and her fingers lingered heavily on the keys without realizing she still had them there.

“Good afternoon, madam…I did not know you had such a beautiful instrument in the house. I did not realize you play.”

She lifted her hands from the keys and closed the cover over them, swiftly getting up. She did not realize he was in the house when she started or else she would not have played.

“May I?” he asked, looking at the piano. She turned her head as if not to care but could not help watching as he ran his one hand over the piano, almost in a caress. She could see from his face, from the way he tenderly looked at the instrument that he had great admiration for it. “How beautiful. It must be French?”

She did not respond.

“In Germany we have grand pianos but this seems so”, his voice trailed off momentarily, and then he added: “beautiful.”

She watched as he lifted the cover over the keys and traced his hand silently over them. He did not play and she noted the way he barely even touched the keys, as if to do so would mean they would no longer be real.

“I’ve always loved everything about this country. It has always seemed so gentle, so cultured. I have a deep respect for your people.”

As he spoke, she did not look at him. She wondered why he was saying all this and wondered if the words were as sincere as his voice sounded.

“I, too, was a composer back home in Germany. It pains me that I cannot be home doing what I love…music is the only language that speaks to the soul.”

She had not made a conscious decision not to speak to him but it felt the right thing to do. She wanted him to see that he was not a welcome presence in her home, despite his cajoling words. She did not wait for his monologue to finish but decided that she would get up and leave, as he clearly was not going to be the first to do so. As she left the room he wished her a good afternoon. A minute later she heard him leaving the house.


Last edited by OrlilLicious, 4/30/2018, 6:31 pm
4/25/2018, 3:02 am Link to this post Send Email to OrlilLicious   Send PM to OrlilLicious
 
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Re: In Love and in War


About a week later, Adele had spent a long day in the village. When she returned home, the sun was just beginning to set. She unloaded her parcel and was glad to remove her shoes. It was a warm day for late October but the nights could be chilly so she immediately went to light the fire. She listened, as she instinctively did these days with the German officer in the house, but hearing no unusual sounds she proceeded with her evening routine.

As she was preparing a soup for dinner, she heard a knock on the kitchen door. When she looked it was Sarah and she came inside.

“You never lock the door.”
“I feel trapped enough already without having to lock my own doors.”

Adele spoke little of how she felt about her predicament of living without her husband so Sarah did not feel the need to have her elaborate as she could gather what she meant.

“What are you doing?”
“Heating up some soup.”
“And is that how you celebrate your birthday?” Sarah asked, smiling.
“It’s just another day.”

That was when Sarah pulled out of her shopping basket a very small homemade cake that she had prepared just for the occasion. Adele couldn’t help but smile at the gesture.

“You shouldn’t have.”
“I have”, Sarah said as she set it down on the table. “Are you alone?”
“I am.”
“Good, then we can enjoy the cake in peace.”

Sarah went over and turned on the radio and switched it from a news channel to a station that was playing music. Adele watched as she also produced a flask and smiled when she saw the glint in Sarah’s eye.

“Raymond does not know I have this”, she said, speaking of her husband. “He won't miss it.”
“And where did you get the sugar from?”
“I have a little bit in reserve for special occasions such as this.”

Sarah was in good spirits. Privately she was sometimes jealous of her cousin’s happiness. She had a nice home with a loving husband and sweet little boy. She had everything that Adele had wanted for her life but had somehow escaped her.

The drinks were poured and the cake was cut.

“Happy birthday Adele”, Sarah said as she raised her glass. The glasses clanked and they enjoyed a sip of the brandy and ate the cake. They ate it slow as cake and sweets were a real rarity since the occupation.
“Did you hear how the Germans living in the city hall ordered the baker to make them pastries for some gathering they were having for some big shot official that was visiting last week?”
“No, I had not heard”, Adele said.
“They deny us and they help themselves to our food. Our baker survives on feeding the Germans, if you can believe that.”
“I can.”
“Can you also believe that they have closed down one of the Jewish shops in town?”
“I saw that”, Adele said as she had noticed it when she was in town that day.
“They come here and they treat us like dirt. They take what they want and then kill who they want. I’m sick to death of this idly standing by.”

Adele got up from the table to grab the ashtray. She didn’t feel comfortable talking this way but Sarah went on.

“We have to sit here like ducks and wait to be shot…I don’t blame Thomas one bit for taking off to fight.”

The moment Sarah said this she regretted it. When Adele looked at her she could see that her cousin realized her mistake but she seemed too embarrassed to speak.

“Would you feel that way if it were Raymond who left?” Adele asked her.
“I’m sorry.”

Adele wasn’t really that upset but she certainly didn’t like the subject to be brought up like this. The subject of the Germans, however, was more uncomfortable for her.

“It’s fine…but perhaps we should refrain from discussing such matters in the house.”
“Oh yes, I almost forgot.”

The two women resumed discussing other things while enjoying the little brandy that they had left in the flask.

“What’s it like living here alone with that man?”
“It’s fine. I never see him. I hear him sometimes but he’s as quiet as a mouse most nights.”
“Did you know that Antoine and Francine have been forced to take in two German officers? And they have three children. How awful.”
“What can we do?” Adele said, not exactly resigned to the fact of life now in the occupation zone but not really wanting to discuss it. “Besides, it doesn’t stop us from enjoying this cake does it?”
“No, I’m sorry” Sarah said smiling. “It’s your birthday and all I’m doing is complaining. I never even gave you your present.”
“Another one?”

She watched as her cousin went to the kitchen door and grabbed something from the ground outside. It was dark now and the wind was picking up so she closed the door again. She held whatever she had in her hands behind her back.

Adele looked at her and smiled as she approached the table, watching as she produced a small package of flowers and handed them to her. Adele smiled.

“I don’t know the last time I’ve had flowers. They’re lovely…thank you.”

Adele went over and grabbed something to put them in. As she did, Sarah turned up the music a bit more and poured the last bit of brandy into their glasses.

“They smell lovely.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“I’ve not had flowers in the house since summer.”

As Adele was saying this, she did not see the German officer in the doorway of the kitchen. Sarah saw him before she did and when Adele turned with the flowers in the vase, ready to place them down, she saw him.

It fell silent.

“Excuse my intrusion.”

He looked from one woman to the other, bowing slightly and removing his hat as he did. Adele looked at her cousin and saw how her eyes fell to her drink.

“The front door was locked and I saw that there was a light on in the back of the house.”

Adele realized she must have locked it by accident, which was strange because she never did that. However, her mind had been elsewhere as of late and she thought it was entirely possible that she did lock it and must have forgotten. She immediately regretted her thoughtlessness as it caused this unwanted intrusion.

“What a lovely kitchen”, he said, admiring the warmth that must have greeted him from the windy weather outside. When he looked at Adele and she did not responded, he put his hat back on. “Good evening, ladies.”

The women watched him walk through the kitchen to get to the staircase that would lead him upstairs. As he did not know the lay of the house he was unaware that there was also a staircase that led upstairs from the back of the kitchen. It was an old house and had various nooks and crannies that only someone who had lived in the house for many years, as she had, would know.

When he left, Adele sat down.

“Now you’ve met my guest”, Adele said, placing sarcastic emphasis on the last word.
“Yes, I suppose I have.”

She watched as Sarah finished the brandy in her glass.

“I’m sorry but I have to leave. I hope you liked your cake and flowers.”
“I loved the brandy most of all.”

Sarah smiled and the two women kissed on the cheek before she left. Once she was gone, Adele turned down the radio and tidied up the plates and glasses from the kitchen. Once the table had been cleared and wiped down, she decided it was time for another cigarette before heading to bed. It was windy outside and she didn’t feel like smoking out there, so she opened a window and stood by it as she lit a cigarette.

She heard the approach of footsteps and she felt herself tense up. When the knock came to the kitchen door, she knew it was him.
“I hope I did not disturb your party.”

She remained facing the window.

“Do you mind if I get a glass of water? It feels dry in the house.”

She put her cigarette down in the ashtray and went to the cupboard to get a glass. She passed it to him and allowed him to get himself some water from the tap. His back was to her and she looked at him, allowing her eyes to linger longer than she normally would as he could not see her. She did not look out of admiration, but rather out of curiosity. She had never been this close to a German before.

“Lovely flowers”, he said when he turned around. The flowers were on the table where she had placed them. “I couldn’t help but overhear that it is your birthday today.”

It bothered her that he had overheard this and she wondered how. Of course when he came to the door he may have heard them speaking about the flowers, or perhaps he had lingered afterwards and heard their conversation after they thought he was gone. Either way it upset her to think this and she felt like her privacy had been invaded.

For some unknown reason the flowers became a symbol of her anger, and she went over to the table and moved them from the centre to the windowsill. She did not know why she did this.

“Forgive me but I can’t help but notice you are alone.”

She gave him a sharp, puzzled look when he said this.

“I thought there was a Mr. Benoit.”
“He’s not here”, she said abruptly then picked up the remains of her cigarette but it was almost out. These were the first words she had spoken to him in the weeks he had been there and with the words an invisible bridge had been crossed. She faintly realized this as they made eye contact but she looked down as she put out her cigarette.
“Forgive me but I’ve observed he’s never here.”
“He’s away.”
“I hope that my being here is not too much of an imposition in the meantime.”

She looked at him and the look said all she could say with words. He got her meaning well enough and excused himself, saying good night.

When she heard his footsteps walking away she went to the sink and immediately washed out the cup he had drank from. After finishing in the kitchen she turned out the light and went to go upstairs, but before she did she checked the front door to see if it was still locked. She tried the handle and saw that it was open, as it usually was, and thought it strange. She thought it was odd because he had told her it was locked, but clearly it was not; it had been open the whole time.
4/25/2018, 3:04 am Link to this post Send Email to OrlilLicious   Send PM to OrlilLicious
 
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Re: In Love and in War


She speaks! It would appear that Adele is between a rock and a hard place with the circumstances that brought the German officer to her home and sent her husband away to fight in the war. She is holding a lot in--anger, frustration, longing for her normal life and while she would never let on to her "guest", she feels the intrusion is simply bringing her emotions to a head.

Werner is polite and as unobtrusive as possible, but he represents the unpleasantness of war and occupation, so Adele will not give him the time of day--luckily for her his obligations outside the house gives her the opportunity to do things that resemble a normal life. I'm glad she has Sarah to touch base with. It will be interesting to see if she provokes Adele to take a harder stand against Werner or if the familiarity of his daily comings and goings will begin to feel routine and much less threatening than it did when he first arrived.

I can see that he is making inroads, and slowly breaking down the barriers of their particular situation. Adele actually spoke to him and that was a sign to him that he was not going to have to work nearly as hard to overcome her suspiciousness and resentment, and show her he is as benign as possible given what his country was doing-- imposing on the village and Adele in particular.

I enjoyed this introduction to your story and look forward to more. Something tells me the piano and their mutual love of music will further serve to break the ice between them and open their eyes to possibilities that may have seemed impossible earlier. Good job!
4/25/2018, 5:42 am Link to this post Send Email to Pambi   Send PM to Pambi
 
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Re: In Love and in War


II


Adele liked to get up early most mornings so that she could start her chores before doing her piano lessons. Today she was expecting two young boys for their lessons. They usually came once a week and as they had missed last week, she was hoping to get in a double lesson today.

She decided to start with the bathroom first, gathering up any towels that needed to be done. She went down the hall to the end of the second floor, where the German officer was staying in the far bedroom, to see if he had left any towels outside but she saw none. She went inside the washroom that he used and saw that it looked immaculate, as if he never used it. This was not the first time she noticed how clean it was. Out of curiosity she went to the cabinet and saw that it was empty. She looked for any sign of its use but could find nothing, not even a bar of soap. However, her eye caught glimpse of a tiny box on top of one of the shelves and she picked it up and when she opened it saw a razor. For a slight moment she thought perhaps it belonged to Thomas but when she realized it couldn’t be, she returned it to its place.

The rest of the morning’s chores went by without incident and she enjoyed having the house all to herself. She loved opening the curtains and letting in the light. The day was warm enough but it was getting colder now that it was early November and the winter was approaching. Each day seemed to grow colder and colder so she always started her day now by lighting the fireplaces in both the kitchen and living room.

When she was done and had cleaned herself up, she wondered why her pupils had not arrived. After a half hour had past, she decided that she would make the journey to their house as it would only be a 15 minute walk down the road. It was pleasant enough that she did not feel the need to take the bicycle.

Her house was situated in the middle of a field but the main road could be walked to in less than five minutes. She could not miss them if they were on their way and running late as there was only one path to her house by foot and car.

As she walked, she saw that her house looked like an imposing structure from the road. She could hardly believe she lived in it all alone when once it held such life. Growing up she had lived in the house with five other people: her parents, now both dead; her grandfather, also dead; her uncle, now living elsewhere; and her brother, who lived and worked in Paris. He had given her the house as a wedding gift to her and Thomas, which was 4 years ago now. She had barely lived there 2 ½ years since he decided to leave. He left right at the start of the occupation in 1940 and she had been living alone ever since.

Arriving at her pupil’s house, she was surprised to find everyone home.

“Good afternoon, Sophie”, she said to her friend who was the mother of her two pupils.
“Hello, Adele.”
“Is everyone well?”
“Yes, fine.”

She could see by Sophie’s face that something was not right.

“Did the boys forget their lesson today? Have they recovered from their colds from last week?”
“Yes, they’re well…but we did not forget.”

Sophie turned to face her.

“I don’t like to send them to your house anymore, Adele. I’m sorry but it doesn’t feel right they are there when he is.”
Adele understood her meaning.
“But I’m alone during the day. No one else is there.” Then, a bit hurt by this, she added: “Do you think I would allow your children to be hurt in any way?”

Sophie softened.

“Of course I don’t think that. I just don’t feel comfortable.”
“I will come here, then.”
“Are you sure? It would make me feel so much more comfortable.”
“I’m sure.”

Adele was obviously upset by this and felt hurt that Sophie would not just tell her why the boys had missed their last lesson. She worried that others would think her house unsafe now that the German officer was there, but the fact of the matter was that Germans were also in other people’s homes and their lives went on as normal. It had to.

Sophie called her two boys from outside and they came in so that Adele could begin their lessons.




Later that night Adele found that she could not sleep. When she looked at the clock she realized it was 5am and she had been laying there for at least 20 minutes with her eyes closed. She did not intend to get up for at least another hour but decided that since she could not sleep that she would get up and start her day.

After splashing her face with water and getting dressed, she fixed her hair in a bun. She would start her day with her usual breakfast: coffee and a cigarette. On her way downstairs, she was surprised by the sound of the front door opening. As she descended she saw that it was the German officer. He was fully dressed, except for his hat and coat.

“Good morning…I hope I did not wake you. This is my usual time for getting up. I needed to find a file in my car.”

She continued walking down the stairs without greeting him in return. However, as he passed her to go up the stairs she felt the need to speak.

“I do not lock my doors.”

She had been wanting to say that to him for the past few weeks since his arrival. She had thought it over and realized he had lied to her about the door being locked, and could not understand the reason why he would do this.

He stopped on the landing and gave her a bit of a puzzled look, but then another look came over his face that she could not read. She did not look long enough to find out what it was.


Later that evening as she was cleaning up the kitchen after her dinner, she heard the sound of the car pull up. She did not know why but this annoyed her more than usual. She thought about what had happened the previous day with Sophie and how, despite her efforts, life was not continuing on as normal – not while he was there. He was causing a disruption in her life that she did not care for.

She turned up the radio so that she did not have to hear him and to signal that she did not want to be bothered. She moved around the room, cleaning things that had already been cleaned.

He had come into the kitchen but she had not heard him, or seen him, until he came closer. She saw that he wanted to speak to her, and in an annoyed manner she walked over to the radio and turned it down, but not off.

“Good evening. I tried not to come in to disturb your work but the radio was so loud you must not have heard me.”
“Is music forbidden now too?”

She said this with such a coldness in her voice that he seemed to look hurt by her words.

“Of course not.”
“What do you want then?”
“I wanted to give you this”, he said, taking a letter from his pocket. She recognized it immediately by the colour of the envelope. It was a letter from Thomas. She froze and wondered how he got hold of it but she kept a very calm, cool exterior. Her eyes betrayed her and she nervously eyed it in his hand. He walked closer.

“It was with my mail on the console in the hallway that you left for me. You must not have seen it with my letters.”

She took it from his hand. She pretended to be disinterested in it as she put it down on the counter out of sight.

“Also, before I go upstairs for the night, I was wondering if I could have more towels.”
“Yes, take as many as you want.”

The tone of her voice was cold.

“I do not know where they are kept”, he answered, his voice the opposite of hers, sounding much softer and gentle.
“Do you need them now?”
“They’re for the morning.”
“Then why bother me with it now?”

She realized the harsh tone in which she used to speak the words. She was annoyed with him; annoyed with this intrusion.

“Madam, I do not wish to upset you.”
“Then why do you?”

She saw as he furrowed his eyebrows at the question.

“I understand your position completely.”
“Do you?” she asked, a sarcastic tone in her voice. She knew she was treading on dangerous territory and she should not be speaking this way to him, for in reality she was at the mercy of his orders and he could take the whole house from her if he wanted to. However, there was a part of her that did not care anymore and her emotions got the better of her.
“Do you know what it’s like to have your privacy taken away from you? I want nothing more than to be left alone. Please give me some dignity in my own house.”

As she said this, she could clearly see that she had wounded him with her words. She wondered why they had seemed to hurt him and felt slightly puzzled, not just at his reaction but her own feelings. Inside there was a storm of feelings raging around her heart and part of her reaction to him was due to this.

Then, realizing she had crossed a line, she looked at him and said more calmly:

“I will leave the towels outside your room before I go to bed.”
“Thank you”, he said, then bowed and excused himself, without saying good night. She watched as he left the kitchen and went down the hall to the main foyer of the house, but looked away when he turned to go up the stairs as he could possibly see her looking.



As she tidied up the kitchen, the letter on the counter kept catching her eye. She wondered if it was not Thomas she was more angry with than this German. For her he seemed harmless enough, but more than anything she wished that she could go back to the time before he came and she had the house all to herself. It seemed to long ago now.

Once she was done she took the letter and went upstairs to her room, closing and locking the door behind her. As she was running a bath in the adjoining bathroom to her bedroom, she picked up the letter.

“Hello sweet Adele:

It has been some time since you heard from me. It is not easy to communicate these days as life is so precarious. I’m not sure where I am or where I will be tomorrow. I do not foresee a chance to come see you but please do go on without me. I am there by your side but just in spirit. It is difficult to write more than this at this time. I hope you understand.

With all my love and thinking of you,
Thomas”



And that was it. Unconsciously she crumpled the letter slightly as she tightened her fist, holding her hands down on the edge of the tub as she waited for the water to finish. She could not believe that was all he had to say in nearly four months. She knew he could not tell her where he was as it was too dangerous and that he had to sound as vague as possible, but it upset her a great deal. This is all he had to say to her after leaving the way he did and everything else.

The worst part is that he told her to go on as if everything was normal. She wondered if he realized her predicament; he wondered if he realized that she had indeed moved on. Even though she felt a hardness in her as she read his words, she started to cry. It was the first time she had done so in nearly a year. She did not know why she was crying now and did not realize it would be nearly a nightly event for from here on in.

When she wiped her eyes, she was about to undress when she realized she needed to bring the towels to his room. She didn’t want to do it afterwards as she planned to be in her nightgown so she grabbed what she needed and went down the hall towards the end. She did not intend to be caught unaware on her way there but heard him coming up the stairs. As there was nowhere to hide, she waited for him. It was dark, save only for the moonlight coming in from one of the windows.

“I hope I did not disturb you. I was only outside having a cigarette.”
“You can smoke in the room if you like, as long as you don’t burn anything”, she said coldly.
“Thank you but I prefer to smoke out of doors.”

The light from the window hit him directly across the face so that she could see his features as he spoke, while she remained in the dark. It wasn’t the first time she had seen his features but it was the first time she had noticed.

The way he looked at her made her feel exposed, even though she was the one in the dark and he was the one in the light. It felt awkward to be standing there with him in the upper part of the house as this was the first encounter up there she had had with him since he moved in nearly 5 weeks ago. For some reason their brief encounters downstairs, while intrusive, seemed acceptable; meeting him on the upper floor, near her bedroom, made her feel much more exposed.

“Your towels”, she said, holding out her arms. When he grabbed them from her, she felt his hands on her arms for a brief second and this made her upset. Nearly dropping them into his hands, she left immediately and went to her room where she locked the door. There was a sense of panic in her as she undressed, also locking the door to the bathroom as a double assurance. She got in the water and instead of laying down and relaxing, as she normally did when she had a bath, she found herself rubbing soap all over her body furiously, as if the action could somehow take away what she had just felt.
 
4/27/2018, 2:41 am Link to this post Send Email to OrlilLicious   Send PM to OrlilLicious
 
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Re: In Love and in War


One has to wonder whether Adele is the talk of the village, being alone with the German officer is bound to raise eyebrows. It's not clear if Adele has confided in anyone about her feelings regarding Thomas' absence and the state of their relationship when he left, but even so she had closed herself off and was content living alone until the German officer arrived. I can see Sophie making the decision to keep her children away from their piano lessons, and I'm sure Adele felt as if there was more to the decision than Sophie's explanation about her choice. I am glad that Adele decided to tutor the boys at their home, taking the high road when she no doubt felt hurt. That is probably part of the reason she was so curt and dismissive of Werner when they had their two encounters, but more so when he delivered the letter from Thomas. I think he read volumes from her attitude and body language that told him Adele's marriage wasn't only a matter them being apart due to Thomas' war obligations but because she felt abandoned and perhaps betrayed by his departure. He is still behaving like "an officer and a gentleman", keeping his feelings to himself and communicating with the utmost courtesy while she vents her frustration and anger at him--the most convenient target but not the subject of her emotional meltdown. The meeting in the darkened hallway as she took him towels brought Adele's frustrations to a head; when she returned to her room she had to cleanse herself of the guilt feelings for actually allowing herself to have a conversation with Werner but also to try to rid herself of her anger at Thomas. His short and vague letter didn't bring her relief for his well-being, instead she felt as if he had distanced himself further with his words telling her he hoped she could "go on without him". It almost sounds like a "Dear Jane" letter where he is releasing her from her marriage vows. Try as she might, Adele won't be able to scrub away the feelings with her soap, there will have to be a cleansing of her soul and decisions to be made about how to indeed go on.

I enjoyed this very much. We're beginning to see that the situation is starting to wear on Adele and Werner is having a harder time staying away and keeping his "professional" distance when he's begun to feel an attraction to Adele. We all know what frustrations like theirs can lead to! LOL Well done.
4/27/2018, 4:32 am Link to this post Send Email to Pambi   Send PM to Pambi
 
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Re: In Love and in War


III


Adele had not seen or heard the comings and goings of the German officer for many days. He seemed to leave early, before she was up; and he came in very late, when she was already in bed. Now that the winter was here she had days filled with many chores and things to get done during the daylight hours as the light was waning more and more each day. She did not like to travel to the town in the dark so she had to scale back on her piano lessons, as she always did this time of year.

As a result, she had a lot more time on her hands in the evenings when she was alone. Life almost felt like normal, like it did before the German officer had arrived. Part of her was beginning to wonder if he was still even there but she dared not go into the room he was inhabiting for fear of seeing him. She noticed how his bathroom had been kept immaculate, almost as if he never used it.

The last time she had spoken to him she had been angry and she let her frustrations at her situation release on him. She just couldn’t see past the fact that she no longer felt like she was in charge of her life while he was there. At least before, while Thomas had been gone, she was able to come and go as she pleased and do what she wanted around the house without fear that she may be disturbed. Now, she walked around on guard and always made sure to be on alert.

Then, one evening as she was sitting up late reading by the fire, she heard the car drive up and park. She could tell by the sound of the engine that it was him and that in a moment he would be inside the house. She took her feet off the chair and sat upright, looking down at the book but not being able to concentrate on the words on the page.

She sat listening, waiting for him to come inside the house. When she heard the front door open, she quickly diverted her eyes back to the page. She fully intended not to say a word and put on a very cold exterior in expectation of his intrusion into her space any moment now.

Instead of his footsteps walking towards the sitting room where it was clear she was, as the lamps were on and the fire was lit, she hear him begin to ascend the stairs. From where she was she could see the staircase in part and glanced over to see that he was indeed going upstairs, having bypassed what seemed to have become a bit of a ritual when he came in, and that was to at least say “good night” before he retired for the evening. Tonight the routine was broken and there was just silence. She did not know why but she felt a slight disappointment.



More days went by and Adele had nothing but silence from the German. She found that she was staying up later and later, reading by the fire as she liked to do in the late hours of the evening before retiring for bed. The German would come in, sometimes pause to pick up his mail on the console, and then go right upstairs without a word to her. She did not know why but this annoyed her just as much as his intrusions and lack of silence did.



As she made her by-weekly trip into town on her bike, she heard a horn from behind and saw a familiar blue truck. It was her friends Teresa and Simon. They stopped the truck beside her.

“Do you want a lift into town?”
“Sure…only because it’s so cold out today.”

Simon got out and lifted her bike into the back of the truck. She got in at the end and the three of them managed to squeeze in together.

“How are you?” they asked her.
“I’m fine.”
Simon looked over as if he did not fully believe her.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure”, Adele said.
“I don’t know if I could live with a German without wanting to kill him.”
“Adele hardly has a choice”, Teresa said. “Nobody does.”
“I’ve heard rumors that the Leger Farm is going to be taken over by half a dozen Germans as some sort of official headquarters”, Simon added.
“How awful for the Legers”, Teresa said. “At least you only have to live with one.”
“For now”, Simon said and Adele looked at him, curious as to what he meant.
“What do you know?” she asked him.
“Nothing…I’m just speculating, that’s all. You do live in a large house all alone.”
“The official word is that a Mr. and Mr. Benoit live at my house. Remember that Thomas isn’t officially gone, not by their records anyway.”

When the subject of Thomas came up Simon and Teresa did not pry. No one did. They all assumed the same thing. There was a brief pause until Teresa added:

“But still, how awful for you.”
“It’s not the end of the world. I rarely see him and I don’t have to cook or clean for him. He takes care of his own needs.”
“Thank God for that”, Teresa said looking at her.

Adele could not see it but there was pity in their eyes when they looked at her and they wondered how she managed on her own without Thomas, especially now with the German there. However, everyone that knew Adele knew how strong headed and stubborn she was so they never pressed the issue or even offered to help out in any way around the house. She wanted to manage on her own.

“What will do you for Christmas?” Teresa asked her.
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re always welcome to come to our house.”
“Thank you…I’ll let you know.”

As Christmas was a month or so away, she had some time to decide.

“Do you need a ride back?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I need the exercise.”

Adele hopped out of the van once they arrived in town and walked her bike to her first stop, a few doors down. Leaving her bike outside she walked in the store and picked up the things she needed, and she continued on this way in the stores she had to visit in the town. It was a sunny day, but cold. It was busy in town and she saw that there was some commotion at the German headquarters, which was their old city hall. The nearer she got, the more people she saw around there but no one really stayed too long to look on. She ran into a few people she knew and so stopping to talk delayed her somewhat.

As she was putting some groceries into the basket on her bike, she saw that a German car was passing and inside she saw him. He looked at her but there was not enough time to see his face, but when the car stopped in front of the headquarters, he got out. She saw as someone held the door for him, indicating that he was of higher rank. She tried not to look but she found that her eyes glanced up often. He turned to look at her, bowed slightly to say that he had acknowledged her, but she looked back down as she fastened her bike. This was the first communication she had with him in nearly two weeks.

When she returned home she checked the mailbox, as usual, and saw that there were some letters. She carefully checked through them, as most of the mail was for the German officer, looking for anything that should be for herself. When she found nothing, she went to put it on the console, her usual spot for leaving him the mail, but she hesitated. Instead, she kept the mail and left it in the living room until later. A tinge of guilt entered her stomach from doing it but she did it anyway.

She was in her usual spot when she heard the car. She sat up and waited, expecting that he might stop this time to say good night, which was a custom that he had forgone for a few weeks. She heard him come in and indeed he did stop, likely checking for the mail in the spot she usually left it. Then, however, he started to ascend the stairs.

She rose and went to the doorway that led to the main hall.

“Excuse me, sir –“, she broke off, feeling the words come awkwardly out of her mouth. She did not know what else to call him, or how to address him. It seemed too formal.

He stopped halfway up and she watched as he came back down. He then walked over and, facing her, did his courteous bow of the head as he normally did. His hat was under his arm and she could tell by the redness in his face that he was cold. He waited for her to continue.

When she realized it was her turn to speak again, she said: “One moment.” She turned back to get the letters from the living room. When she turned around, he was still in the dark hallway, having kept his distance and not crossed the threshold into her personal space of the living room. She went back out and handed them to him and he took them from her.

“I forgot to leave them for you.”
“Thank you…”, and then after a pause, “I wish you a good night.”

Then, he turned to go back upstairs, leaving her to go into the living room. She sat down and wondered why she had just done that. The fire mesmerized her thoughts as she contemplated her actions. Her book was beside her on the sofa but she no longer wished to read. The words on the page were no good to her and seeing as it was getting late, she decided that she would finish up her last minute chores in the kitchen and go to bed.




It was a few days letter when she received her brother’s letter telling her that he was coming for a visit from Paris next week. He would not be bringing his wife, however, as he only planned to be there a few days. She was happy to have him come as it would be nice to see family before the holidays, and because she had not seen him since the summer. She was a bit worried about how she was going to introduce her new “guest” or how she would warn Edmund, but the solution to her problem came the following weekend before her brother arrived.

It was Sunday in early evening. Adele was playing the piano in the house and enjoyed playing when she was alone; in fact, that is as it always had been for her. Thomas was never a fan of the piano and she knew he did not appreciate her talent, so she always had played alone, at least since her marriage.

When she heard the front door close, she abruptly stopped playing. She closed the cover over the keys and was surprised when she saw the German officer come to the doorway, greet her in his usual way (combining a sense of his military and gentlemanly traditions). He removed his hat and she got up from the stool.

“Good evening.”

She did not respond but stood there looking at him.

“I hate to interrupt your playing, it’s wonder-“
“I was finished anyway”, she said, cutting him off.

He looked a bit uneasy at her cold demeanor but then continued.

“I came to let you know I have a week holiday and I’ve decided to go home. As they cannot spare me during Christmas time, I have to go beforehand. I plan to visit my fiancé in Frankfurt and then see my mother also.”

The only thing she could think of to say was: “And your father, too?”
“My father is dead. He was killed in the last war.”
There was a brief pause.
“So was mine”, she said, feeling a coldness as she said this, knowing full well she was looking at the enemy.
“We have something in common, then”, he said, but he sounded uncomfortable as he said it.

She saw that he lingered in the doorway and she folded her arms over her chest.

“Our mutual hatred for one another.”
“I don’t hate you. Do you hate me?” he asked her.
“I hate what you stand for.”

He seemed slightly hurt by this but he did not respond.

“Well, then, perhaps our mutual love of music.”

He said this very delicately as her mood seemed to be changing as he stood there. She remained with her arms folded.

“I just came to let you know that I will be gone as of tomorrow, and you will have your home all to yourself again, for a little while at least. No more intrusions from an unwanted guest.”

When she did not respond, he did his usual bow of the head and wished her good night. He left very early the next morning, so as not to disturb her, but she was not asleep as she should have been. Now she was alone again.



Last edited by OrlilLicious, 5/1/2018, 12:34 am
4/29/2018, 2:35 am Link to this post Send Email to OrlilLicious   Send PM to OrlilLicious
 
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Re: In Love and in War


On purpose or not (probably not) Werner has piqued the interest of his lovely hostess, and Adele seems to carry guilt about her curiosity. I wonder if she realizes that she set the tone after their encounter in the kitchen, leaving Werner to take the path of least resistance and not further aggravate Adele's sensitivities. So many factors are at play in her attitude softening toward him--the absence of Thomas, the coming winter, her loneliness and her desire to find out why the man in uniform changed his routine. I don't know if he'll ever tell her face-to-face that he was doing his best not to offend her and was only wanting to avoid any further upset on her part. Of course he is smitten with her and she is resisting his intrusion into her life, as a good French citizen would be. But I think she's slowly finding out that despite their obvious reasons to distrust one another, there is an attraction she's finding increasingly hard to resist. I don't think she was ready to hear he has a fiancée, or that he'd be leaving before Christmas. I believe it'll be easier for her since her brother will be coming from Paris, as he may be able to see that she is not as resistant to the occupation as he feels she should be.

Well done again. I'm looking forward to finding out what effect the brother's visit and Werner's leaving will have on Adele. A stay tuned moment for sure! emoticon
5/1/2018, 2:10 am Link to this post Send Email to Pambi   Send PM to Pambi
 
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Re: In Love and in War


IV


The following Thursday her brother arrived in the late afternoon. He had taken the train and then a cab to her house. She was in the kitchen when she heard the front door and heard her brother’s voice, once so familiar and now rare, call out to her. She threw off her apron and ran to the hallway where he was putting his bag down and taking off his coat.

“Welcome home!”

They wrapped their arms around each other and he was hardly able to remove his coat without her pulling him inside. She asked him a million questions.

“How’s Jeanne?”
“She’s fine?”
“How’s the baby?
“It’s growing by the day. She’s due in three months’ time…and how are you? You’re looking well.”
“I’m fine”, she said, looking up at him. “You look wonderful.”

Some thought she and her brother Edmund were twins, but they were actually seven years apart in age. He was the only remaining family member she had, other than Sarah, her cousin

“I was just in the middle of preparing dinner.”
“I was hoping to take you out tonight.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere in Paris”, he said with a smile. “In town, where do you think?”
“Not tonight. The food will spoil if I don’t cook it. We’ll go out on the weekend.”
“I’m only here for four days.”
“When do you have to leave?”
“Monday.”
“We’ll go out on Saturday night then.”

He walked around the house as they spoke, examining his childhood home. He could see the photos that Adele still had up of the family, his parents who were now both dead and his grandparents who had owned the house before.

“Grandmother looks so beautiful here”, he said, holding a photograph.

Adele was a baby when her grandmother died and so she did not remember but Edmund had fond memories.

“You look just like mother did”, he said to her.
“You think?”
“Spitting image. We both are.”
“I always thought you looked more like father.”

After he looked around a bit, he went to grab his bag.

“I’m just going to bring this upstairs.”

Alarmed by this, she offered to do it for him. She had not told him about her guest and she wasn’t sure how she would tell him, but she decided she would tell him over dinner. She didn’t want him choosing the wrong room and accidentally stumbling upon the occupied one.

She dropped off his bag in a room she had prepared beforehand and also made sure that the bathroom was cleared of any trace of her visitor so that her brother could have full use. She knew she had to tell him about her situation but somehow it didn’t feel right to bombard him with his on his day of arrival so she planned to tell him the next day.


The second day of Edmund’s visit was spent visiting some neighbours who had been friends of theirs growing up, including Teresa and Simon. Many of the families that had lived in the area remained, while others, like her brother Edmund, had gone to other parts of the country. As her brother was a successful businessmen there, owning a clothing store, he had done very well for himself. While their parent’s house had belonged to him after their mother passed away, he left it to his sister when she got married to Thomas.

She had specifically asked them not to discuss the subject of her situation and to, in fact, refrain from discussing all things regarding the occupation. She was glad that most of the conversation was directed towards Edmund, asking him questions about his wife and their baby that was due in 3 months.

After having enjoyed a dinner at Sarah’s house, both Adele and Edmund returned home. As soon as they got in Edmund removed his shoes and they both went into the kitchen where it was warmer. As she was making them some coffee, the topic of the German officer weighed heavily on her mind. She brought out a small dessert she had bought for her brother’s visit and put it on the table.

“I bet sweets aren’t as scare in Paris as they are here.”
“Depends on where you go. Is it that bad here?” Edmund asked, concern on his face. “When I asked Simon about rations and such, he made it sound as if it’s terrible.”
“It is and it isn’t, but everyone makes do”, she told him.

She sat down across from him at the large kitchen table and decided to broach the subject.

“What else did Simon mention about the occupation?” she asked him.
“It’s awful but it’s the same everywhere, I can assure you.”

Now it was Edmund’s turn to look slightly uncomfortable.

“You know I can’t ask about it in my letters…but I wanted to ask if you’ve heard from Thomas?”
“Not often.”
“It’s very difficult for him to write.”
“Yes, I’m sure.”

The sarcasm in her voice did not go unnoticed.

“How have things been here, really, without him?”
“Fine”, she said and that was the truth. “But there is something I wanted to let you know.”
“What is it?” he asked, looking concerned when she said that.
“You know how the Legers and Francoise are housing German officials?”
“Yes”.

By the way she looked at him he could guess it before she had the chance to tell him.

“You mean they’re going to be here?”
“They’re already here.”
“When? How many?”
“He came nearly two months ago.”

Edmund had a hard time digesting this news.

“You mean you’ve had a German here for two months and you’ve not mentioned it in your letters?”
“I didn’t think it was wise and I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Damn right I’m worried. Do they not realize your situation?”
“What situation is that?” Adele asked, getting her back up when he said this.

He crossed his hand over the table to grab hers.

“That you’re alone here?”
“Official documentation says that Mr. and Mrs. Benoit live at this address.”

Edmund pondered this but still he persisted.

“So there’s only one here? You said ‘he’.”
“Yes. A captain. He’s not actually here at the moment. He’s been away.”
“When will he be back?”
“How should I know?”
“Surely there must be a regulation against this.”
“I don’t think they care.”

This seemed to upset him even more. He stood up and went over to the window.

“I’m going into town tomorrow. I will speak with someone at the headquarters.”
“And tell them what? The truth? That Thomas has gone to fight in the Resistance? That would go over well. I’m sure I’d be treated with the greatest of respect then.”
“It’s deplorable that you are living here alone with a German officer. You are too vulnerable. God forbid, what if he were to rape you? You know that there’s been reports of this in Paris? Do you forget the stories of what happened in the last war?”

Adele knew that her brother was trying to look out for her and was speaking out of concern, but she also knew what he was worried about had no basis in the reality she was living.

“I don’t think going to the headquarters is going to help matters. You have to understand that by reporting Thomas you’ll be putting me in greater danger. What if they think I’m part of the Resistance as well?”
“So you’re saying you’re on their side?”
“Now you’re just being unreasonable and ridiculous.”

He turned to face her.

“I’m sorry but I have to do something.”
“I don’t think what you tell them will matter.”

For several moments they sat in silence. She finished the dessert while he stood at the window, no doubt contemplating her fate.

“I asked if you were okay and you said you’ve been fine.”
“I am fine.”
“How can you be?”

She thought of a way to reassure him, to calm his fears. When she thought of the German officer, Werner, she felt her heart slightly soften.

“He seems decent enough.”
“You’ve spoken to him? What does he say?”
“He’s hardly ever here. When he is here I don’t know it. We don’t have much interaction.”
“Thank God for that.”

She put her hands around the coffee cup and let the warmth seep into her fingers. The last thing she wanted was to worry him but she also knew she had to be honest.

“I have to do something”, he said once again.
“Please don’t. I don’t want any fuss and I don’t want any suspicion thrown on me. I want to live my life in peace.”

Edmund went back over to her.

 “What choice do I have?” Adele said, looking up at her brother with a muted anger on her face. “What choice do any of us have? I just want to live in peace. As long as he doesn’t bother me, which he doesn’t, I’ll be fine.”

This answer seemed to appease her brother but she knew it did not satisfy him.



Sunday evening, the day before his departure back to Paris, Edmund treated her for dinner in the town. It was two weeks before Christmas and, despite the circumstances, life went on as normal as could be. Since it was Christmas, there were more people in the town centre that evening. The German headquarters seemed quiet for a change. She saw as her brother eyed up the building as they passed it on their way to dinner.

“Please don’t do or say anything stupid. Remember that my safety is on the line here.”
“Tonight we are going to enjoy ourselves”, her brother reassured her. She smiled and put her arm in his and they walked into the restaurant.

She could tell he was trying to be in a good mood. She also noticed that since his arrival there seemed to be something weighing on him, even before she had told him about her living situation. She did not pry, however, as she came from a family that liked to keep things to themselves. With the assistance of a little wine he became more inclined with his speech during dinner.

“Has Jeanne tried to contact you about anything?”
“Do you mean has she written?” Adele asked him.
“Yes.”

Adele shook her head, indicating that she had not heard from his wife since the summer. Jeanne had not been from around Verdun and was a Parisian girl, much more inclined to the life and attitudes of Paris. Her brother had also become accustomed to life there and seemed quite content. She was curious why he would ask this but would not pry until he was ready to speak, if he would at all.

They were sitting together in the restaurant and music was playing. Most everyone having dinner were couples so Adele and her brother felt out of place. Of course they knew some of the people but not everyone as Verdun was a large place.

“I’m glad to see people enjoying themselves”, she said as she looked around. They had finished dinner about an hour ago and they were enjoying some wine between them, discussing life and the way things used to be.

“The house seemed so much more alive when you were here…when mom was here”, Adele said.
“Do you miss him?”

She knew “him” meant Thomas. Adele shook her head.

“I did at first, but not anymore. I’ve learned to go on without him.”
“He’s a hero for going to do what he’s doing”, Edmund said, lowering his voice. He could see that this upset her.
“Yes, I’m sure that’s how everyone sees it.”
“He’s not a bad person.”
“No, just a bad husband.”
“I can’t speak for that”, Edmund said uncomfortably.
“Why does everyone defend him?”
“I’m not defending him.”

Adele took a sip of her wine.

“Can we change the subject?”
“Yes, of course.”

Then, delicately, her brother asked:
“What would you do if there was someone else?”

She furrowed her brows, clearly put off by the question. Edmund could see this and put his hand over hers.

“I’m asking for myself.”

Now she was really confused.

“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I want a woman’s perspective.”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Would you still love him?”
“I don’t think it’s a question of love; I think it’s a matter of loyalty, and seeing as I’m not a dog I don’t think I would be very understanding.”

Edmund finally had the courage to blurt it out.

“I’ve seen other women since Jeanne.”

Somehow he didn’t get the response he was expecting. When he looked at her, she had a slight smile on her lips.

“You expect me to be surprised by this? I’ve known you all your life and you’ve always been unfaithful. It’s in your blood.”
“Do you think Jeanne will forgive me?”
“She probably knows.” Adele said.
“Would you forgive me?”
“No”, she said without hesitation. “Luckily I’m not your wife then.”
“I’ve been a rascal all my life I suppose.”
“Yes you have…but men are all the same in that regard.”
“Has Thomas?”
“Not that I know of but it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Doesn’t that upset you?”
“No.”



After Edmund and Adele finished off the last of the wine, they headed out the restaurant. It had started snowing in the time they had been having their dinner. She buttoned up her coat and her brother gave her his arm, which he took, as they walked along in search for a cab, enjoying his body heat to keep warm.

“Do you think we’ll find one now?” he asked as they looked down the street to see if there were any for hire.
“Yes, we should.”

They continued on speaking as they walked arm in arm down the sidewalk. The cathedral of Notre Dame rang out to mark the hour. They were stopped here and there by people who knew her brother and they paused to speak to them.

When they were walking along towards the centre of the town and were passing the German headquarters, she was shocked to see the German officer getting out one of the cars. What was he doing back? she wondered.

He did not see her at first and more than anything she wanted to turn and walk in the other direction as they were surely to run into him but it was too late.

Edmund looked down at her as she was unconsciously holding onto his arm very tightly and gave her a puzzled smile. She tried not to look at the German officer but could not help herself.

When she saw that he finally recognized her, she decided not to avert her eyes. She saw his eyes scan her brother and a look came over his face, and Adele thought he looked a bit shocked. Then his eyes went back to her and he bowed, as was his usual custom, and then walked into the building. Adele could not resist the temptation to look back, and as she did so she saw that he too was looking back at her, his head turned in her direction, a look of puzzled curiosity on his face that he seemed to be trying to hide. She quickly turned away and continued walking.

The whole time her brother was oblivious to the encounter, not paying attention. There had been several Germans walking around and Edmund failed to notice the looks between the two of them as he and his sister passed Werner.
 

“That was my uninvited guest”, Adele told him when they were safe enough away.
“Who?”
“He’s gone into the headquarters.”
“I thought you said he was away.”
“He was.”

When they found a cab, they got inside. Adele looked over at her brother.

“Please, if you meet him at the house, do not say anything.”

Edmund remained in silence and Adele feared an encounter between the two of them. When they got back to the house, there was no way Edmund was going to go to bed without confronting the German officer. The fact that he had had so much wine seemed to make him bold. Adele felt like she was trying to tame a lion but instead of playing the weak woman, she was standing up to him.

“I can’t hold my tongue so don’t ask me to.”
“Why are you being like this? We’ve been through all of it for the past day.”
“I don’t like the thought of you being alone with that monster.”
“Can you keep your voice down, Edmund?”

He lowered his voice, even though it was clear Werner was not there as his car wasn’t in the driveway.

“Do you care about me?” she asked him calmly.
“Of course I do. That’s why I’m trying to help you.”
“You can help me by calming down.”

Edmund tried to remain calm and reason with her, at least from his point of view. He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Adele, you’re my little sister, and you’re also a very beautiful woman who’s vulner-“
“A woman who can look after herself.”

When she said this, he did not look convinced.

“I’m not your wife, Edmund, and I won’t be bullied around. This is my house and this is my life. You do not have to live here and as you’re leaving tomorrow, I will have to live with the mess you make if you confront him when he comes here tonight.”

When he tried to speak, she cut him off.

“My life will be miserable if they find out about Thomas. I will have suspicion cast upon me and there will be nothing I can do. I don’t want to live that way.”

Edmund stood there silently, obviously upset. He did not speak so when she did, she did so more calmly.

“I’m tired of men trying to run my life.”
“I’m not trying to run your life. I’m trying to help.”
“Then you can help me by letting me live in peace. I’ve already told you he seems decent enough and it’s like he’s not here most of the time.”
“So he’s never tried to hurt you in any way?”
“No.”
“Has he ever insinuated anything to you?”
“If you mean has he ever tried to touch me, then no.”
“You can’t trust these monsters.”
“Then my own husband must be a monster because I haven’t been able to trust him either.”

That was all she wanted to say on the matter. While they did not go to bed on the best of terms, she felt good about the fact that she was able to speak her mind.



As Edmund had to catch an early train back to Paris the next morning, they were up at the crack of dawn. They sat in the kitchen while Adele made Edmund some breakfast. Now that he had sobered up, he was apologizing for the way he behaved last night. He was speaking low, worried that they might be overheard.

When Adele heard the movement upstairs, her stomach tightened. She knew the German officer was up and she felt nervous about the possible encounter. She hoped that he would just leave, the way he did in recent weeks, without disturbing her.

The footsteps approached the kitchen and she looked at her brother, mostly a pleading look but she tried to remain as calm as possible.

In moments, Werner came to the doorway, did his usual bow of the head but did not remove his hat.

“Good morning.”

He looked from Adele to her brother who was standing now close to where Werner was. She looked at her brother to see how he would react, feeling her stomach tighten when she looked at him.

“Mr. Benoit, let me introduce myself as we’ve not yet met…I’m Captain Werner von Ebrennac.”

The German extended a hand but Edmund did not extend his in return. Adele realized that he thought Edmund was Thomas.

“I trust your wife, Mrs. Benoit”, he said, acknowledging Adele, “has informed you of the situation. I have tried not to intrude on your home and privacy more than necessary.”

The two men did not seem to notice the nervous demeanor she held as she stood with her arms folded, watching them. She was waiting for Edmund to say something, fearing that he would. However, he said nothing.

“I wish you a good day”, the German said, once again graciously nodding his head before he turned to leave. Adele breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the car leave.

“Thank you”, she said to her brother.
“For being a coward?”
“For not putting my situation in jeopardy.”
“He thinks I’m your husband and I would like to keep it that way. Perhaps I should come stay for a while.”
“No, I would not wish that”, Adele said calmly as she sat back down at the table. “Besides, you have your wife and unborn baby to worry about.”

She motioned for him to sit down with her at the table.

“I suddenly feel put off my breakfast.”
“Please don’t let our last hour together be ruined.”
“What will you tell him when I leave?”
“The truth.”


Adele saw her brother off at the train station and she was glad that they parted on good terms. She knew he was worried for her but she felt any “help” he might give may turn out to be more of a hindrance. As she made her way back on that cold December day she wondered why she was so anxious to be home.




Last edited by OrlilLicious, 5/3/2018, 1:11 am
5/3/2018, 1:10 am Link to this post Send Email to OrlilLicious   Send PM to OrlilLicious
 
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Re: In Love and in War


Edmund is a good brother to Adele, but maybe a tad too protective. However he's acting as any loving older sibling would toward a younger one who he feels isn't thinking her situation through. They seemed to have an adult conversation regarding Thomas and the German officer, yet Edmund would rather have had Adele tell him she needed his help and that the occupation of their childhood home by the German was unbearable. I don't think Edmund sensed anything that would make him feel Adele was content with the current living arrangements rather than resentful.

They seemed to have a happy visit, even with the revelations of Edmund's infidelities and Adele's casual acceptance of it, as well as informing her brother that if Thomas had been unfaithful she wouldn't be surprised. I think this conversation will stick in Adele's mind as time goes on--but about her own fidelity to her marriage vows.

Werner was cool but his facial expressions probably gave his feelings for Adele away. It was kind of comical how he automatically assumed Edmund was Thomas, and that neither Adele nor Edmund did anything to dispute it. It isn't in Adele to perpetuate the lie, so when Werner returns in the evening, I'm sure there will be a confession about his misunderstanding. That will be a very interesting conversation!

I enjoyed this chapter very much. Looking forward to the next installment. emoticon
5/3/2018, 2:15 am Link to this post Send Email to Pambi   Send PM to Pambi
 
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Re: In Love and in War


V


The evening of the day her brother left for Paris, Adele found herself anticipating the arrival of the German officer as she sat on the sofa reading. Unable to focus, she decided she would go to the piano as it had been nearly a week since she had played anything and she felt the urge to do so now. She found that the movement of her hands, so natural as they flowed over the keys, soothed her and helped ease how she was feeling.

She thought about everything that had happened during her brother’s visit and how emotional it had been. She was relieved he was gone because it was intense to have him there with her, especially when he was persisting about her living situation. She was glad that in the end she could rely on him not to make matters worse for her.

She thought of how when she played the house no longer felt empty. She often thought when she played that the ghosts of her mother and father, and even grandparents, could hear her as her mother had always encouraged her. She thought of her father and how she had very few memories of him. He had died in 1922, four years after the war ended. She was 7 years old and could remember his face as clearly as if he were sitting there now. What she remembered about him was that he was kind, despite the pain he lived with on a daily basis. He finally succumbed to his injuries, sustained during the Battle of Verdun in 1917; it took him five years to die.

Her mother had been a strong, beautiful woman. She remembers how tenderly her mother cared for her father and never left his side. Adele and her brother Edmund had been the joy of their lives, but when he died Edmund (who was then 14) took a bit of a turn for the worst. Once he hit puberty he became rather wild and worried her mother, but he was a loving son and that never changed, right up until her death in 1930.

Life was not easy growing up in the most formative years without a mother, and having lost her father so young, she assumed that is part of what led her down the path she decided to take. She wondered what would have happened had her parents been around to push her more.

Her thoughts got lost in the music as she played and she lost all track of time. She would sometimes let herself go into the music, as if it was another world. She came out of her musical trance when she heard the front door close. Part of felt panicked and her instinct was to stop but she found her hands did not want to so she continued, even though she knew he would hear.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw that he was standing in the doorway to the room now, but she did not look up or lose focus. She thought perhaps he would leave but instead he lingered there. She did not look up from the keys but she could feel that he was looking at her. She felt the odd sensation that compelled her to continue.

After several minutes, she slowed down the pace of her hands and brought them to a stop. She remained looking down until the sound of his voice made her look at him.

There was a softness in his eyes that he could not hide from her. It was the sound of the music that made him this way.

“You are a gifted musician”, he finally said, a softness in his voice to match his eyes.

She felt herself give an odd half smile but it was forced. She wasn’t sure how to act or where to look.

“Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of hearing you play. Hearing music is a delight I do not often get.”

He allowed a pause before he continued, sounding more official.

“Am I to infer that you are alone? Your husband is not here?”
“No”, Adele said. “Why?”

She almost asked the question with a bit of suspicion in her voice.

“Perhaps I will wait until he is in to inform him of some arraignments that have been made for this weekend.”
“You can tell me”, she said, sitting up straight and feeling slightly offended that he would not tell her of these so-called arrangements.
“It is no concern. I wanted to inform you that some friends of mine are passing through Verdun on their way to Germany before Christmas and I was going to house them in the dependence outside. They’ve had strict orders from me not to enter the house so that will not be an issue. It will only be for the weekend.”

The dependence was a small building outside that had been fitted with some small luxuries, such as a few cots and utilities that farm help used to use when this was a working farm.

“I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience to you and your husband.”
“Do I have any choice?” she asked, clearly not happy with the decision, especially since she had no say in the matter.

Werner looked a bit embarrassed by the question.

“Please inform your husband.”
“The man you met this morning was not my husband.”

When she said this she saw a puzzled look come over his face.
“That was my brother. He was visiting from Paris. He left this morning.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for my mistake.”

She did not respond, finally standing up from her seat at the piano. As she did so she noted that his eyes lingered a bit longer and she looked away, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“I wish you a good evening”, he said and then she heard him walk away. He went upstairs and she noted that he was back earlier than usual, but heard as he left again not long after.



That Friday the German “guests” arrived for the weekend but Adele was not home. She was in town that afternoon getting a few things to bring to Sarah’s house as she had invited her over for a pre-Christmas dinner. It was exactly one week before Christmas day and the town was alive with activity, as if things were normal. It helped to cheer Adele up somewhat as she saw and greeted people who were in good spirits.

She had taken her bike into town but regretted it as the ground was quite cold now and there were patches of ice. As she passed the salon de coiffure, she felt a spur of the moment impulse to go in. It was a special occasion and she felt she could make the extra effort to have her hair done and so she did.

When she came out an hour and a half later, her hair had been washed, blow dried and curled, pinned on one side with a feminine bun and a French braid intertwining it. It looked quite fancy but she liked it, leaving there feeling good about her impulse decision.



Once she was back home, she put the items aside that she was taking to Sarah’s and went upstairs to get ready. Raymond, Sarah’s husband, would be there in two hours to pick her up for dinner. As of right now, she was alone but she knew that the visitors could be arriving at any moment so she tried to hurry, hoping not to be there when they did arrive.

She took a quick bath and went into her closest to choose something to wear. She looked at the present that Edmund had brought her, which was red dress with white lace trim around the top from Paris. As he owned a clothing shop, he always sent her clothes of the latest designs. Most of the time they sat in her closest collecting dust, but she decided that she wanted to wear something special tonight and a Christmas party was a good excuse to do so.

When she put it on, she almost took it off again. She began to unzip it, feeling a lack of confidence to be able to wear such a thing. While the dress was in no way fancy, the colour certainly popped and she felt like a different person in it. She decided against taking it off and as she began to zip it up, the fabric started to hold to her body and the dress came to life. She stood back in the mirror and eyed the entire package. She felt more beautiful than she had in a long time and decided right then and there that she would not take it off.



There were about a dozen people over at Sarah’s house for the party. Little Francois was running around, as were a few other children who had been brought with their parents. It was a festive mood and for the evening no one spoke about unpleasant matters.

“That dress looks lovely on you. I take it Edmund brought it from Paris?” Sarah said to her as they were preparing some food in the kitchen.
“Thank you, and yes, an early Christmas present”
“I’d like to borrow it some time, though I don’t know if it’ll fit me in the bust”, she said, indicating her breasts.
Adele smiled.
“I don’t think Raymond minds them being oversized, do you?”
Sarah now smiled.
“It was good to see Edmund. He looks well.”
“Yes, he does. I worry about him though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Too many women”, Adele said and Sarah got her meaning before she had a chance to explain as others came in the kitchen.

When they rejoined the gathering, they sat down on the sofa and enjoyed the food, music and wine. For a while Adele almost forgot about her situation but then there was always someone to remind her.

Simon pulled her aside as they were listening to the children sing some carols.

“Did Theresa tell you?”
“What’s that?” Adele asked him.
“They’re taking over one of the extensions at the back of the house.”

Theresa and Simon had built a few extensions onto their home over the years and it sounded as if the Germans were moving in.

“Try not to kill any of them”, Adele said, for it was a joke with Simon. Every time he mentioned the Germans he spoke of murder. Tonight he seemed a little riled up about it.

“I think it’s time for me to do something”, he said, an ominous tone in his voice that altered the smile on Adele’s face. She saw the same look in Thomas’ eyes when he spoke of the Germans, his hatred evident. Now she wondered what Simon was thinking but did not ask.

That was the only time talk of the Germans came up, other than people asking her about how her own situation was. She told them the same thing she always had and that she rarely saw him and most of the time had the house to herself. The looks of pity in their eyes could not be hidden, though, and this annoyed her more than anything. She knew that they pitied her not for the fact that there was a German in her house, but that Thomas was gone and she was alone with one.


“What do people say about me…really?” Adele asked Sarah later on in the evening.
Sarah looked at her, perplexed.
“What do you mean?”
“About my situation with Thomas.”
“Nothing much worth repeating.”
“Now you have to tell me. You can’t say that and not tell me.”
“You mean you don’t know?”
“I try not to care that much.”

Sarah didn’t want to say it so she brushed it off.

“Everyone thinks Thomas is a hero.”
“I didn’t ask about Thomas.”
“No one says anything.”
“They feel sorry for me. I know they do.”
“People are just concerned.”
“Why?”
“You’re alone. They’re worried for your safety.”
“Even if Thomas were here, which he isn’t, we’d have no say about the Germans. They think he lives there. In fact, the one met Edmund and mistook him for Thomas.”
“That’s good. Maybe then you’ll be safe.”

Adele looked at her curiously and Sarah returned the look.

“Adele, you are a beautiful woman. You don’t feel slightly threatened by the presence of the German in your home?”
“No”, she said, almost too quickly. “It’s the truth”, she added when Sarah gave her a disbelieving look. “I dress up one day of the year and all of a sudden I’m beautiful.”
“You don’t need makeup and a fancy dress to catch a man’s eye. Do you remember how Thomas fell head over heels for you?”
“It was a mutual lust”, Adele said, feeling the need to defend herself. “I don’t want to talk about Thomas, or any of this. I don’t worry about my safety with him at the house.”
“You’re the one who always says all men are the same”, Sarah reminded her.

While they were not arguing, Adele felt uncomfortable with the subject and she was glad when they were interrupted and there was a chance to clear the air. The rest of the evening went fine and they all parted in good cheer. Sarah and Raymond gave her a bottle of wine to take home with her when they dropped her off at the house.

As they drove up the driveway, the two cars were parked outside the main entrance of the house.

“Those must be my guests”, Adele said sarcastically. She had informed them of her situation that weekend.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?”
“I won’t be scared out of my own home”, Adele said. “But thanks for the offer. If things are unbearable, I will stay tomorrow night until they leave Sunday.”

Raymond dropped her off as close as possible the front doors and waited for her to go inside. She could hear the German voices, speaking in German and not French, and when she glanced out the window she could see the lights on inside the dependence. There were two cars there but she did not see the Werner’s car, which was distinctive from the ones outside.

Not thinking much of it, she went inside into the kitchen where she could put the wine away. She saw that it was after 10pm and she thought it was best to get an early night, but wondered how she would sleep if the Germans were noisy outside.

She was getting some things ready for tomorrow when she heard the front door open. She had the music on low so she could not detect the different footsteps that walked along the floor. She assumed that it was the officer and was not expecting it to be someone else. She turned to see it must have been one of the Germans from outside.

“Hello”, he said to her, in his broken French.

She stood there like a statue, feeling completely exposed and afraid. There was a look on his face that she did not like. Instead of showing her fear, however, she glared at him.

“Do you have any more wine? We’re running out.”
She nodded her head as if to say “no”.

He walked inside the kitchen slowly and she watched as he looked around.

“Are you sure?” he asked her and she saw that he was looking at the bottle that Sarah had given her. She had forgotten that it was there. He went over and picked it up and she could smell the alcohol coming from him.

“Do you have any glasses?”

Adele went over to the cupboard and took out a glass and put it down, as she refused to hand it to him. She watched as he walked over to her and she could clearly see that he had too much to drink. When she tried to move away, he stood in her way.
“Stay, have a drink with me.”
“No thank you”, she said coldly.
“Stay, I want you to have a drink.”

He reached into the cupboard and grabbed another glass. Then he went to the radio and turned up the music, making it quite loud.

“Sit down.”
“No.”
“Sit down”, he said more sternly.

Instead, Adele moved to the other side of the table to be away from him as much as possible.

“We can be friends, can’t we?”

He opened the bottle and poured a glass for himself, which he partly spilt on the table. As she saw how intoxicated he was, she became more and more afraid. She tried her best to hide it but her anger masked over her fear.

“I would like to be your friend, especially one as pretty as you.”

The way he looked at her made her uneasy, so she decided that she would leave as it was clear he wasn’t going to. However, he got up quickly and went to block her way. When she tried the other way, he blocked that one, too.

He laughed as she glared at him.

“You have no choice. You must be my friend.”
“Get out of my house.”

A hardness came into his face when she said this.

“Sit down!” he yelled at her.

When she would not, he grabbed her by the arm but she did not scream. Instead, she scratched his face with her free hand, forcing him to let go.

“You !@#$!” he yelled at her.

He took the glasses that were on the table and with a swift movement of his arm, pushed them off the table so that they went flying and smashed against the wall. At this point she went to escape through the kitchen door that led outside.

The German voice in the doorway stopped her and she almost did not recognize it until she looked to see the German officer, Werner, standing there.

The other German realized who was standing there and turned around.

She saw as Werner spoke to the other in German, a very stern look on his face and in his voice. From where she stood she thought his face looked slightly red from anger. While she could not understand what he said, she could understanding the meaning of it well enough.

“We have conquered these people! When will they realize that?” the drunk German said in French, for her benefit no doubt.

Werner responded in German.

The drunken man looked at Adele and smiled but Werner would not tolerate him any longer and grabbed him by the back of his coat and forced him out of the kitchen. In a moment, he had him out and yelling could be heard as he was being thrown outside the house.

Adele was shaken by the incident, not expecting this at all. It took her a few moments to collect her thoughts but once calmer, she went over to the sink and wet a rag. A minute or so later she heard a car being started and leaving and she wondered if Werner was leaving.

Feeling a bit panicked, her heart beating fast in her chest, she rushed to the front door to see if his car had indeed gone, in which case she intended to secure the doors by locking them. Before she could get there, the door opened and he walked inside. He had a look that spoke a mixture of anger, sadness, and embarrassment all in one.

“He’s gone. One of the men has driven him to the headquarters in town… he will not bother you again.”

Then, coming closer to her, he said: “I cannot tell you how sorry I am.”

He went to raise his arm to touch her, the way someone does to console another, but he stopped himself. She stood in the dark hallway and felt her heart slowing down as she listened to him speak.

“He will face discipline for this. His behaviour was monstrous and I feel utterly at a loss for words to tell you just how sorry I am. I was called into town briefly and they must have had too much to drink when he came into the house.”

She stood there listening, seeing the tender way in which he looked at her. She could see that he felt terrible. Then he moved even closer to her, and for a moment she thought he would get too close, but once again he stopped the movement.

“You will be safe tonight. I promise that nothing like this will ever happen again. I’ve ordered them to clear off the premises first thing tomorrow morning…please accept my apology.”

She had tears in her eyes that he could not see.

“Will you be alight?”
“Yes.”

He continued to look at her in a tender way. He wanted to say more, but she could see that he was torn and would not allow himself. The words hung on his lips as she looked at him. All he managed was:

“Good night.”

On the tip of her tongue were the words “don’t leave me” but she did not speak them; at least not with words but she said it with her eyes. Shaken by the experience, she decided she would go to upstairs and lock herself in her room.

She undressed, nearly ripping the dress as she took it off. She threw it in a bag in the closest, intending to dispose of it tomorrow. It represented the altercation in the kitchen and it became a symbol of her hate. She hated that man and would have stabbed him if she had a knife. Her hands trembled and she started to cry, feeling she could do so in the sanctuary of her room.

She felt angry when she thought of the German soldier who had attempted to assault her. It made her feel truly vulnerable and disgusted. As she started the bath she thought of Thomas, and also felt anger rise up in her as she contemplated how he had left her in this position. If he had joined the army and this had been a normal war, perhaps she could forgive him; but this was a case of abandonment and she could not.

When she slipped in the water she closed her eyes, shutting back the tears that had been silently falling. When she closed her eyes the face of Werner came into her mind and she felt part of her anger slowly slipping away. His eyes and the way he looked at her she could see were sincere, and it was his tenderness that consoled her now. Instead of pushing his face out of her mind, like she knew she should have, she allowed it to linger behind closed lids as doing so brought her comfort.



When she awoke the next morning the cars were gone and so were all the Germans. He had kept true to his word and this helped her to face her day with a bit of relief. Then she turned her attention towards cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, grabbing the broom that was by the back door.

When she walked into the kitchen, however, she stopped and looked around, puzzled. There was no trace of the previous night’s encounter: the glass had been picked up; the floor had been swept and mopped; the wine residue on the floors and walls had been cleaned up as well. She realized it must have been him.

He wasn’t like the others – she could clearly see that now. She felt curiously pleased at what he had done for her; no doubt a gesture to make up for what had transpired. She did not fully realize it but it was more than just being a gentleman; it was his way of showing her he cared.



Last edited by OrlilLicious, 5/4/2018, 11:07 pm
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